It seems that all I do at the moment is complain that I am tired or yawn - or both at the same time. If someone asked me what I most wanted at the moment it would be to wake up without an instant feeling that I would give almost anything to go back to bed or to not be yawning my head off at 3pm everyday without fail or to actually not have massive bags under my eyes rather than hiding the dark circles with a tonne of concealer. I wish I needed less sleep so that I could get more done in my waking hours, there is so much I wish I was doing rather than spending 7 hours asleep. I wouldn't feel guilty for playing on Hay Day instead of doing more uni work, for watching 2 hours of Game of Thrones instead of going to the gym, for doing blog stuff when I really need to do some housework because I would have all the time in the world. But would I be more productive if I didn't need to sleep? Or would I just spend more time doing banal crap?
What I really want is time to catch up on everything that I am behind on - I want to catch up with friends, I want to catch up on recorded TV and on all the blog posts that I have yet to read (over 200 posts to read and counting!) I want to finish my book and start another. At the minute it's the little things but when you realise time is finite I start to worry about the big things,about the fact that I haven't traveled enough, the fact I can't speak a foreign language, that I haven't achieved anything.
I am very much at one of those stages where I feel like I have way too many emotions going on in my head and the fact that I am tired really doesn't help with this. I used to think that I could cope with less sleep but I think it was just that it mattered less that I become a stroppy emotional wreck when I am tired when you are a teenager, it's expected. However not sure it is appreciated as a fledgling adult. I told one of my best friends that I felt like I needed to cry but had nothing to cry about - he looked at me as if I was crazy - it's a girl thing I think or maybe just me - help someone back me up!!
So at some point I will get some more sleep but I have a lot of really important stuff to do tonight like eat Easter Eggs and changing my bed sheets - but I am so bloody tired ***yawn***