D is for Dating

I am pretty sure dating is a myth made up by the movies. I have never been on a real date, have no idea how to get myself a date and would have no idea how to act on a date. This sounds pretty tragic even to me!! 

I thought that at my age I would be going out, meeting people, deciding whether or not these were the people for me - instead I spend most of my life working and the rest of it chilling at home. I would love to meet new people but I have no idea how. I think its even harder when you live in a rural area, I can't just pop out to the pub or to an event. Going out takes major planning. It also doesn't help that new people scare me a little bit, I know they say they don't bite but what if they do and what if they have rabies?!? They might not like my craziness or the fact that I am perpetually late for everything!! They might think I'm fat or ugly or stupid or I might develop an unexplained instant hatred of them (which does happen when I meet some people)

I tried online dating but only got as far as chatting to people online before it absolutely terrified me. Speaking to these strangers was too much, I could not meet any of them!! But to be honest I feel like I am ready to find someone to be in a relationship with, well at least ready to do some test driving. The thing is I'm scared of people needing me, of people relying on me and also scared of needing someone else (and yeah this post is getting much more deep than intended!!)

I want this. I want someone to feel this way about me!!