- Got my chunky booty stuck in a rubber ring for about 5 minutes, I laughed but slowly I was dying inside. (well technically you are always slowly dying, it's called the progression of time moron!! I ain't no Benjamin Button)
- My new top from Miss Selfridge makes me look more pregnant than my 32 week pregnant friend
- Wearing a bikini - no other explanation needed
- Shopping and trying on an ever so unflattering dress, in which I can see myself from every angle. No one wants to see themselves from every angle, how much fat can one pair of retinas take?!?!
- Standing next to my very skinny 13 year old sister in above mentioned bikini, urge to drown her was nearly unbearable
To combat this I need cake and maybe chocolate and possibly cider - definitely not to go on a diet. No way am I going to be skinny in 7 weeks before I go on holiday, let's just hope no one tries to harpoon the whale in the ocean!!